White Lies
Coloring My Life Beyond the Lies
I didn’t know it then, but the truth I needed was already waiting for me to claim it, like a hidden treasure, buried under layers of white lies and expectations.
Living Someone Else's Story
There’s a moment in every woman’s life when she wakes up in a story that was never hers.
Mine happened somewhere between answering a polite text and sitting on a too-white couch in a too-quiet home—one I thought I wanted. I used to believe peace had to be earned through suffering, that clarity came with age, status, or surrender. But it doesn’t. It comes in a flash, sometimes in the form of a stranger’s question or a missed call that makes your throat clench.
Peace Isn’t Earned
Now, I cancel meetings all the time, even the important ones, not to screw others over but to choose myself and my peace. I’ve learned to curse when the situation calls for it, take Wednesdays off just to go shopping, and stay up watching movies for no reason at all.
I used to get lost in malls, overwhelmed by the noise of people and things I didn’t need. Now, I try on summer dresses I’ll never buy, wear colorful gemstones while cleaning the house, and write whatever blogs when I need a break from work—not to prove anything, but to simply breathe.
The Art of Saying No
I don’t pick up calls that don’t feel worth it, and I ask the barista to remake my coffee when they mess it up because I paid for almond milk, not regular. And I don’t apologize for it. It’s not ego. It’s freedom—the freedom to honor the calls that matter and live a life that feels real.
I wasn’t like this before. I was clean, organized, controlled—pretty on paper and polished in person. I followed rigid rules, lived in a black-and-white world, until I realized my life’s canvas was still white, untouched by brushstrokes. On paintings, I mix colors, but not in my life.
From B/W to Full Color
I used to feel like the only girl in San Francisco. But I was asleep.
Now I’m awake. I’m living in full color. My truth, messy and sacred, is mine.