The Power of Second Best

Letting Go of the #1 Obsession

For the overachievers who feel like they're still not enough.

Life isn’t an auction where winning means outbidding everyone at all costs. Sometimes, the highest bidder wins, but only pays the second-highest price. Here's what a Harvard auction rule taught me about ambition, rejection, and finally letting go of the need to be #1.

I still remember learning about the Vickrey auction in one of my Harvard economics classes. The concept blew my mind.

Also known as a second-price auction, it works like this: the highest bidder wins, but they only pay the second-highest bid. At first, it felt totally counterintuitive. Shouldn’t the winner pay what they offered? But the logic is brilliant. This system encourages honest bidding and discourages inflated offers, making the outcome fairer and more transparent.

The deeper I went, the more fascinated I became—not just by the mechanism itself, but by the philosophy behind it. You don’t have to be the loudest, the flashiest, or even the one who tries the hardest in the most extreme way. You just have to show up with your best bid. You win by being real, not by exhausting yourself trying to be number one.

And isn’t that how life works, too?

Being First Comes With a Toll

The first person to invent something often bears the heaviest load: the stress, the setbacks, the skepticism. The second person? They often glide in with improvements, better timing, and fewer arrows in their back.

Striving to be the best is natural and important. But the “price” you pay to be first is often huge — emotionally, financially, or physically. So it’s okay if life rewards you “like the second price,” with a fair value for your effort, without the full burden of being number one.

Look at the global economy. Groundbreaking technology often starts in the U.S., backed by billions in R&D and some of the brightest minds worldwide. Yet, that innovation is sometimes reverse-engineered and scaled more quickly in other countries.

Take China, for example. While Nike designs and brands the shoes abroad, some manufacturers copy and sell them locally, profiting without permission. This shows how value often shifts from invention to replication.

We see it in social dynamics, too. The first person to break a generational curse, leave a toxic job, or say no to an outdated norm? They’re usually the one who gets misunderstood or burnt out. The second, third, or fourth person who follows? They get more freedom, more acceptance, and more success—with less friction.

So Where Does That Leave Us?

Recently, I applied for a Director role I was perfect for. I had the portfolio, the experience, the leadership. But they said I was “too qualified.” They went with someone more junior. Maybe they wanted someone easier to mold. Or maybe, they were bidding for something more comfortable to pay for.

At first, it stung. But then I remembered the second-price auction. And how not being picked doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. It just means the world is still catching up to the value you bring.

Don’t Let the Myth of Being #1 Steal Your Joy

This article isn’t about settling. I still want you to be excellent. To push for better. To lead when you can. But what I’ve learned is that life isn’t a linear race. Sometimes being second is smarter. Sometimes it’s just easier on your heart.

You can be the one who sets the tone, not just the one who takes the crown.

And if you’re out there struggling with overachieving, burning out, or feeling invisible despite how hard you’ve worked, just know: you’re not alone. Maybe you’re not “too much.” Maybe you’re just early. Or better suited for a different stage.

Keep showing up with your best bid. That’s enough.