50 Shades of Human
Why Being Super Straight Can Be a Journey, Too
I never knew how straight I was until I saw how many colors existed around me. And suddenly, I started wondering if there was something wrong with me. Why don’t I feel what others feel? Why does my version of straightness feel… off?
The Shades of Sexuality
When I paint, no one asks if that shade of green is confused. No one looks at a teal and asks if it’s actually blue or if it’s just going through a phase. We just accept it. We admire its richness. We honor the way it fits into the masterpiece.
Why can’t we do the same with people?
In recent years, society has finally made space for those who don’t fit into the boxes we used to call normal. We’ve learned how to listen to stories of coming out, of gender transition, of falling in love in unexpected ways. We’ve begun to understand that identity isn’t a binary—it’s a spectrum. A living, breathing one.
Shows like Heartstopper, Atypical, Pose, and Sex Education haven’t just told queer stories; they’ve invited everyone into deeper self-reflection. And that includes those of us who’ve always thought we were straight.
Nature Has Always Been Fluid
If you look at nature, none of this is new. Some fish change sex depending on environmental needs. The bluehead wrasse begins life as female and turns into male when dominance is needed. Gender in the animal kingdom is far from fixed.
So maybe it makes sense now. The soft-spoken uncle who wore pink. The powerful female boss who preferred pants. The girl who hated being called “she.” The bathroom stall that no longer forces people to pick a side.
Some people don’t feel truthfully safe inside the body they were born with. And we have to stop pretending that’s unnatural.
Maybe the real surprise isn’t that nature is fluid, but that we’re just now learning to see ourselves the same way.
Coming Out as Super Straight
I never questioned being straight until I learned about all the colors other people had. All the bold expressions. All the quiet breakthroughs. All the courage it takes to say, “This is who I really am.”
There’s a weird guilt that comes with being super straight these days. Like you won the privilege lottery and are now expected to apologize for it. But guilt doesn’t erase the internal experience of feeling different, even within your “default” identity.
Some of us are re-examining what it means to be straight. We’re realizing we don’t fit the mold. That we aren’t hypersexual. That we don’t flirt the way we were taught. That we care more about depth than appearances. That our version of straightness doesn’t always look… straight.
And suddenly, we feel like the outsider in a community we never thought to question.
Attraction Is More Than Gender
I’ve realized I’m not attracted to most men. And I don’t know why. Maybe it’s emotional. Maybe it’s intellectual. Maybe I’m sapiosexual or demi or just someone who needs time. Whatever it is, it doesn’t make me less valid. It just makes me more aware of how narrow our definitions used to be.
There are moments where I wondered if I was missing something. Why don’t I feel what others feel? Why is my desire so rare, so specific? Why do I feel more at home in conversations than I ever have in hookup culture?
For some, this would spark a full identity shift. For others, it simply reveals a more layered version of being straight. And that’s valid, too.
It doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real.
A Welcome for Every Shade
You don’t need to change your label to claim a seat at the table.
You don’t have to be queer to feel like you’ve had to come out to yourself.
You might be super straight and still feel like an outlier. That doesn’t mean you’re confused. It just means you’re paying attention. And in a world that’s finally beginning to honor the spectrum of human experience, paying attention is the first step toward truth.
So whether you’re bold and rainbowed, grayscale and grounded, or something in between—this is your home, too.
You are valid. You are welcome here.
You are one of the 50 shades of human.