The Life-Giving Truth
When Kindness Elevates Honesty
In Honor of Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
For inspiring a deeper understanding of truth and courage.
Drawing from his insights, history, spirituality, and my own experience, I explore how kindness and empathy are essential to making truth truly life-giving.
“Tell the truth—or, at least, don’t lie.” This injunction from Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, author of 12 Rules for Life, resonates with many who seek order amidst the chaos of modern existence. Peterson argues that truth is foundational to maintaining reality’s structure: “Truth is the handrail you reach out for when you’re crossing the river,” he writes. To live authentically is to reject deception, even self-deception, because lies destabilize our world and relationships.
Yet, while Peterson’s Rule 8 powerfully insists on the primacy of truth, it leaves open a vital question:
What type of truth do we tell? And how? Is any truth worth speaking, regardless of the consequences?
The Purpose of Truth Is to Give Life
Truth, at its highest purpose, is not mere accuracy. It is life-giving. Philosopher and psychologist William James suggested that beliefs are true if they “work” in lived experience. Truth is not just an abstract ideal; it is a dynamic force that shapes our capacity to flourish.
Jordan Peterson himself recognizes this life-affirming nature when he explains that “Truth is the aim of speech” because it aligns us with reality, enabling growth rather than decay. But telling truth bluntly, without care, can sometimes cause unnecessary harm.
This is where kindness enters, not as a sentimental extra but as an essential quality of truth. Kindness, empathy, and mindfulness allow truth to heal instead of hurt. They make truth a bridge, not a sword.
Reaching Beyond Our Own Truth
Our realities are subjective, filtered through personal history, emotion, and perception. Friedrich Nietzsche challenged the notion of absolute truths, proposing instead that all truths are interpretations, colored by perspective. This subjective quality means that when we share truth, we must listen as much as we speak.
Psychologist Brene Brown calls this “vulnerability,” the courage to reveal our authentic selves while staying open to others’ experiences. Understanding invites us to enter another’s world and recognize their truth as valid.
Peterson notes, “If you cannot tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about others.” But equally important is recognizing that others’ truths may differ. Empathy is the art of navigating these differences with grace, not brute honesty alone.
Lessons from History and Spiritual Traditions
Throughout time, great thinkers have shown us the power of truth wrapped in kindness:
Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote about finding meaning even amid the horrors of the Holocaust. He observed that “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” Truth alone was not enough; meaning and compassion sustained life.
The teachings of Jesus emphasize mercy alongside justice. “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone” reminds us to balance truth with humility and grace.
The Buddha’s Middle Way guides us to avoid extremes, promoting wisdom paired with loving-kindness. This balanced approach shows that truth flourishes best when tempered by compassion and understanding.
These traditions converge on a profound insight: Truth without kindness is incomplete.
When Brutal Truth Becomes Destructive
Near-death experiences and profound suffering reveal that the whole truth can sometimes overwhelm, causing despair rather than hope. In such moments, it is the gentle, grateful, and honest truth that truly sustains life.
The idea that truth must hurt to be real ignores the possibility that truth can also nurture, uplift, and empower. Truth’s purpose is not punishment but survival and growth.
Toward a Fuller, Richer Truth
How do we live and speak this nuanced truth? By:
Owning our personal truth courageously, while remaining receptive to the truths of others.
Speaking honestly but with warmth, shaping messages that build rather than break.
Recognizing when gentleness is needed, especially in moments of vulnerability.
Viewing truth not as a weapon or burden but as a relationship, a balance of courage and emotional resonance.
The Balance of Truth and Kindness
Jordan Peterson teaches that “Truth is the proper aim of speech.” I add: truth’s proper aim is also life. Truth is not just about dismantling falsehood but about creating a world where people can thrive. Compassion, attunement, and awareness are not signs of weakness but vital allies to courage and honesty. They allow us to tell truths that give life rather than take it away.
To tell the truth that truly matters, we must wield both strength and tenderness, embodying the full complexity of the human condition.
Personal Reflection
Near death, I stood at the edge of a building, looking out at the world—like harsh truth itself. In that moment, I couldn’t care if the earth was a sphere or a cube. All the knowledge, all the philosophies I had absorbed, meant nothing. When despair is absolute, driven by a broken world you deeply connect with, it feels like zero. No life, no light.
In that void, I needed truth infused with care, warmth, and mercy—someone who recognized the pain behind my strength and simply said, “It’s okay.” A smile, a tear, and a gentle touch saved me. Not the brainwashing of others or philosophy books.
Life’s essence isn’t harsh facts but warmth and compassion, the forces that carry us beyond truth into healing.