The Dishes Can Wait

Wrinkles and Wisdom: Aging, Actually

For Heidi, who proves that youth is a mindset and badassery is forever.

There’s no badge for surviving a quarter-life crisis. No finish line for gracefully entering midlife. But somewhere between collapsing in the shower at 22 and joyfully declining party invites at 34, something begins to shift. You realize the best years might not be the ones behind you—they’re the ones you finally get to live on your terms.

Wept, Wandered, and Woke Up

The breakdown began subtly. Not with fireworks, but with a lingering sense that everything was off—like brushing your teeth and realizing, wait, will my teeth fall out someday? Apathy set in. So did chaos. A few career pivots, a long list of emotional questions, and tears in very inconvenient public places.

At the time, it felt like failure.

But in 20/20 hindsight? It was brilliant.

What looked like “stupid” decisions—enrolling in Harvard’s business school, impulsively traveling to South Africa with friends, launching a business while internally unraveling—were actually some of the most intuitive moves I’ve ever made. They forced me to choose life in the middle of emotional noise. To rebuild when I didn’t even know what I was aiming for yet.

Quarter-life crisis? You can call it the quarter-life restart button.

Late Bloomer, Right on Time

There’s something deeply sobering about realizing 40 is coming in hot, and it’s not slowing down just because you haven’t ticked off society’s favorite boxes. No wedding registry. No babies crying in the next room. No lake house named Serenity.

But here’s the plot twist: I’m… not panicking.

Years ago, I stopped apologizing for being tired. I go to bed before my friends have even started their cocktails. I skip events with people who drain me. I spray on perfume at noon because I like how it smells. I spend money on small things that make me happy—like ridiculously expensive, high-quality matcha from Uji and organic beeswax candles from a luxury brand I absolutely do not need, but deeply enjoy.

Sure, I’m unmarried and still figuring out what “success” even means. But also? I can take time off work to just exist. No diapers. No in-laws. No guilt about needing a day to stare at the ceiling and ponder the meaning of time. And what, exactly, Albert Einstein was thinking.

And in that freedom, I’m starting to thrive.

Timelines Are a Scam

We’ve all been sold this glossy timeline—graduate early, marry young, climb fast, retire rich, and get Botox, obviously. But what if that story was designed more for marketing than meaning?

Some of my friends are deep in the parenting chapter, and many are starting to whisper about the “empty nest” years. Some are dreading it; others are already there, confused by the sudden silence. But the dirty secret growing through the vines? After the grief comes unexpected joy. They’re traveling, starting second careers, rediscovering pleasure, and splurging on themselves. They’re less “lost” and more reintroduced to life itself.

Aging doesn’t mean vanishing. It means shifting. You don’t stop being a woman when the kids leave or when your skin changes. You become a different kind of powerful.

Brains and Business

Let’s nerd out for a second.

Biologically, aging isn’t just saggy skin and slower metabolisms. It’s also brain development. Our emotional intelligence deepens. Our ability to weigh long-term consequences improves. Our confidence, ironically, often spikes after our collagen dips.

Psychologists say our sense of self stabilizes in our 30s and 40s. Meaning: you start to give fewer damns about being liked, and more energy to being aligned. In one of my other articles, I talked about this liberating semi-cuss word I invented called “Sainya.”

And in the world of business? Entrepreneurs over 40 statistically have a higher rate of success. Why? Because they’ve failed before. Because they’re not chasing flash and they’re building substance. And probably because they’re too tired to play games.

Turns Out, Wisdom Is Sexy

Yes, we have tech now. Fillers, lasers, filters. The wrinkles are not the problem—it’s the woe we attach to them.

Raphael and Van Gogh didn’t make it past 37, yet they disrupted art forever. Their lives were short, but their impact was massive. They didn’t stretch their birthdays as far as possible, but they poured their whole selves into the time they did get.

Let’s not try to preserve ourselves like museum artifacts. Let’s wear our experience like a badge, even if it comes with creases.

Still Evolving, Thanks

Everyone ages. Even the pharaohs. Even the influencers with “flawless” skin. We all get off the ride at some point. But until then, how we live is our masterpiece.

This isn’t about gracefully aging. It’s about unapologetically living.

It’s about laughing louder, sleeping deeper, flirting shamelessly with your own freedom, and learning to choose what you want instead of what makes everyone else comfortable.

So yes, the dishes can wait.

So can other people’s timelines.

Because I’m not done becoming.

And neither are you.