The Shape of Meaning

Why A Pear-Shaped Diamond Can Break Or Heal You

Across countries and generations, what we believe to be sacred, shameful, lucky, or dangerous shifts like sand underfoot. What if meaning isn’t something we find, but something we make?

Pear or Tear?

A pear-shaped diamond looks like a tear to some, a talisman to others. I was warned never to get one—twice. Once by a friend, who believed it was a curse. Then again by my sister who’d heard that every celebrity who wore one saw their love fall apart. I grew up in a traditional Chinese home in the Philippines, where omens like this weren’t taken lightly. The logic? If it resembles a tear, it will bring tears.

Then, on a trip to Singapore, I asked a store manager at Chaumet Marina Bay Sands. He smiled and said, “People wear pear-shaped diamonds that look like tears so they won’t cry anymore.” Protection, not punishment. Same shape. Two opposing meanings.

This isn’t just about jewelry. It’s about how humans invent meaning—and how those meanings shape what we buy, who we love, what we fear, and how we live.

Why One Culture’s Curse Is Another’s Blessing

In India, cows are sacred. In Judaism and Islam, pigs are unclean. In the West, both are dinner. These rules aren’t random. They’re rooted in ecology, survival, power structures, and group identity. What was once a practical taboo becomes a moral one, and over time, we forget the reason but cling to the rule.

Science calls this cultural encoding. Anthropologist Mary Douglas argued that societies define “dirt” as “matter out of place.” A pig is sacred, sinful, or supper depending on where—and who—you are.

Love, Divorce, and Reinvention

In my childhood community, divorce was whispered about. A mark of shame. Women who left their husbands, even for abuse or betrayal, were seen as broken or selfish. In America, divorce can be seen as bravery. A reset. A second chapter.

This shift reflects a larger change: from collectivist to individualist values. In collectivist cultures, stability and harmony are prized. In individualist cultures, personal growth and autonomy are.

Psychology: We Need Meaning Like We Need Oxygen

Human brains are wired for pattern. We hate chaos, so we give things a story. That’s why we see faces in clouds and fate in breakups. Psychologist Viktor Frankl, who survived the Holocaust, wrote that meaning is the key to survival. Not happiness. Not comfort. Meaning.

And if meaning is what keeps us afloat, it also explains why it varies. We invent stories to make sense of pain, protect ourselves, or justify a belief we inherited.

Even Science Plays Along

In physics, “time” is a concept that behaves differently depending on your speed and gravity. In psychology, “normal” is culturally defined. In linguistics, colors exist only when we have words for them. Russian speakers, for example, have different words for light blue and dark blue, and they actually see them as more distinct than English speakers do.

So what is “real”? What is “true”? The lines blur. Reality is not just objective—it’s interpreted.

So, Should You Get The Pear Diamond?

Only if it means something good to you.

There’s no universal truth about the shape of love, the color of luck, or the food that makes you holy. There’s only the meaning we choose to believe, share, or let go of. Whether you wear a tear on your finger or call it strength depends on what story you want your life to tell.

“Sometimes it’s not about right or wrong—it’s about choosing which truth gives you power.”

—Vanessa Liu