BTS: Behind the Spit

Girl Gossip When No One’s Really Listening

This could be total trash. Or it could be the truest truth that cuts straight to the bone. Either way, just my sister and me, indulging in what the world might label as “girl gossip.”

I don’t gossip, to be clear. I never saw the point of chipping away at someone I barely know with stories I can barely verify. What I do believe in? Curiosity.

Food Isn’t the Point

A: You’ve never had this??? Oh my God.

V: Yeah, this is really my first time.

A: Okay, so we order a few cooked dishes, but the raw meat is what we grill ourselves. Once it’s ready, wrap it in lettuce, pack in the sides—kimchi, garlic, rice if you want—then shove it in your mouth. Don’t forget the sauces. And those little appetizers? Unlimited.

An A+ tutorial. I took it seriously.

We looked around—groups of Korean men lounging back, beers in hand, food secondary. Their conversation was the real meal.

V: You know, this reminds me of Italy. When I lived there, it was slow living. Meals took two hours. Then a nap. Then a coffee before you picked up whatever you left off that morning.

A: Exactly! Korean BBQ is the same vibe. It’s slow, it’s indulgent.

She’s a foodie. Eats three to four times what I eat, and somehow still wears the same waist size. Life is not unfair. I kinda don't care about food that much.

Money Talks

As we chewed through pork belly and japchae, I shared something about Americans. How they spend money they don’t have. In our Chinese family, we save. Save until we can pay for the house in cash. That kind of money takes sweat, years, and generational discipline.

But in the U.S.? People buy houses with money borrowed from the future. They move in immediately, enjoy it for years while gradually paying it off. They often pay nearly double the original cost with interest. But in the end, both families own their home. One lived in it the whole time. One waited outside the gate.

Then there’s bankruptcy. Among Chinese families, it’s one of the most shameful secrets. But some Americans wear it like a badge—“I learned so much from that”—as if it were just another expensive education.

We both paused, chewing and thinking. Cultural differences aren’t just habits. They shape how we age, how we love, and how we carry regret.

The Ugly Behind the Glossy

Then she dropped this bomb.

A: You know in South Korea, female celebrities have to “serve” rich men before they get famous?

V: Wait—what?

A: Yeah. After some stars died by suicide, letters leaked. Exposing big agencies. The contracts, the “special clauses,” all of it funded by the country’s elite—Samsung, Hyundai, Lotte. Girls were pushed to “entertain” over ten men a day before debuting. One actress said she was tortured by a powerful father and son duo. They drugged women too, just so they’d never be able to have children. Ever.

I just blinked. Processing.

V: All I see is how flawless everyone looks—men and women. But it’s this strange, sterile kind of beauty. White skin so smooth it looks marble. Makeup on guys, soft bodies with no muscle tone. Like they were all sculpted with the same hand.

A: Of course! Plastic surgery is a rite of passage.

Her tone made it sound like I’d just realized the sky is blue.

Soft Boys & a Soft Nation

V: What’s that cartoon again? BT-21?

A: The band is BTS. BT-21 is their character brand.

V: Right. I can’t tell the men apart. They all have the same face. No jawlines, no structure. Just a blur of soft.

A: That’s niangpao culture.

I looked at her, disposable chopsticks frozen in mid-air.

V: What does that even mean?

A: Okay—so “niang” used to mean young woman. “Pao” is slang for a man’s parts. Together, it means a guy who acts like a woman but still has the, you know, hardware. It’s not just about being pretty. It’s about acting feminine, with high voice, soft gestures, the whole package. Think: eyeliner, perfect hair, zero muscle mass.

V: That sounds… awful. And so true.

She nodded, but gently reminded me to fold my lettuce wrap better. And that I’d forgotten the sauce.

Two Coke Zeros, Please

We toasted. Even after we talked about the celebrities. The niangpao wave. The collapsing birth rates in Korea. The impossibility of rural life. The loss of masculine energy not just in men, but in the spirit of an entire country. And the ways K-pop has influenced the world.

And yes, we were still... eating KBBQ.

The world won’t talk about this. But sisters will. Not with microphones, but between lettuce leaves and chili sauce. Between lavish Swedish massages and sizzling marinated meat.

Because girl gossip, if you’re really listening, isn’t small talk.

It’s how culture confesses itself.