To the Disappearing Mom

Creativity & LifestyleDating & RelationshipsSelf-Growth & Mindset
Written By Vanessa Liu

You Can Find Yourself

For every mom who feels like she’s disappearing—lost in the quiet pain of a marriage and motherhood that drains her. This is for you.

You’re here—still showing up.

The world sees your tired smile, your “I’m fine,” your endless giving.

But inside, you feel yourself fading—like a whisper lost in the noise of kids, meals, silence, and a love that doesn’t hold you.

Sometimes, you wonder if you’re still you, or just the shadow of what you once were.

You’re not crazy. You’re not failing.

You’re a woman stretched thin by too many years of being unseen, unheard, and unheld.

You carry pain no one asked to carry—loneliness in a marriage that drains your soul, exhaustion that no sleep can fix, hope that flickers but never catches.

Here’s what you deserve to hear loud and clear:

You matter. You deserve tenderness, respect, and peace—not just survival.

You deserve to rest in a way that fills your heart, not just your body.

And you deserve to be loved—not only as a mother but as the whole person you are.

If your marriage feels like a cage, know this: love isn’t supposed to feel like suffocation.

Working it out means two people trying, not just you bending until you break.

You’re allowed to want space, to want out, or to want to heal together—there’s no “right” answer, only yours.

And wanting to leave does not make you weak. Staying does not mean you’ve failed.

If you’re staying for your kids, remember:

They need to see you whole—alive, thriving, not just surviving.

They need a home filled with safety and peace, not just quiet endurance.

And you deserve that too.

You don’t have to make all the decisions now.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

There are people who want to listen without judgment, who can help you carry the weight, one small step at a time.

You are not invisible.

You are not broken.

You are still here—and that means there is still hope.

You are allowed to save yourself.

You are allowed to begin again.

Helpful Resources

Australia-specific:

  • MindSpot Clinic: Free online assessment and up to 4 teletherapy sessions
    mindspot.org.au

  • Better Access Medicare Plan: Subsidised psychologist sessions through your GP
    health.gov.au

  • NSW Mental Health Line: 24/7 mental health triage and referrals
    Phone: 1800 011 511

International and Online:

Vanessa Liu
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The Ghost of Love