Love Me, Lie to Me
Why We Fall for Romance Scams
In the shimmering world of digital dating, where curated profiles and clever banter dominate the scene, something strange is happening: people aren’t just falling in love; they’re falling into traps. And sometimes, deep down, they want to.
AdamStone_83:
I don’t know what it is about you…
It’s like I’ve been searching for someone with your eyes and your quiet fire for years. I feel like I’ve known you forever.
You:
That’s a heck of an opener.
AdamStone_83:
I am not like other men. Life’s too short.
Singapore today, Sydney tomorrow. I work on offshore projects. I’ve been staring at financial projections all day. Planning to retire in three years.
Then I opened this app, and you hit me like a glass of cold water to the face.
You:
Wow. That’s… intense.
AdamStone_83:
I’m intense. But not careless.
You don’t have to reply, by the way. I get that this probably sounds crazy. But if something about this feels right to you too, don’t ignore it.
You:
I don’t usually say this but… I’m curious.
AdamStone_83:
That’s all I needed.
You look like the woman in my dreams. Let’s not waste time. I want to know the things most people save for month three.
What breaks your heart? What keeps you soft?
I’ll keep this between us.
The Perfect Match: A Liar and a Believer
Love scamming is no longer a rare tale whispered by a friend of a friend. It’s become an entire genre of modern heartbreak. But what makes it even more bizarre—and deeply human—is that in some twisted way, both sides are looking for each other. The scammer wants the dreamer. The dreamer wants the fantasy. It’s a tango of unmet needs wrapped in emojis, video calls, and promises of forever.
The Fantasy Sells Itself
Everyone wants to be seen. To be chosen. To be told, “You’re the one.” Love scammers know this. They don’t lead with bank details—they lead with intimacy. They study you. Mirror your language. Tap into that quiet hope you’ve buried beneath years of bad dates and ghosted texts.
And for some, that fantasy is worth everything. Even the truth.
Let’s be honest: not everyone falls for a scam because they’re naïve. Some fall because the story is too beautiful to interrupt. The scammer says the right things, sends “good morning” texts, remembers your dog’s name, makes you feel needed. It’s emotional oxygen. And for those gasping from loneliness, it’s hard to turn away.
The Scammer Is Searching, Too
Scammers don’t just cast nets—they aim. They swipe and scroll, seeking vulnerability dressed in confidence. They’re often skilled psychologists, spotting those whose need for connection outweighs their caution. But here’s the paradox: scammers also crave connection. Not the romantic kind, maybe, but the validation of power. The high of control. They, too, are playing a role in this dark love play.
And sometimes, they fall, too. There are real stories of scammers abandoning scams because the connection felt too real. Even manipulators can be moved by honesty.
Why It Keeps Happening
Love scamming works because it mimics real romance. The rhythm is the same—intensity, shared secrets, a future imagined together. The only difference is the intent. But here’s the catch: our brains don’t always need the truth to feel attachment. They just need consistency and a believable illusion.
For many, love is already a scam. We’re taught from childhood that if we’re good, we’ll be chosen. That suffering earns us loyalty. That if we give enough, we’ll be loved back. These myths make us easy marks—not because we’re weak, but because we’ve been conditioned.
A Beautiful Lie Served Warm
When loneliness runs deep and hope starts to rot into desperation, a beautiful lie is easier to hold than a lonely truth. People aren’t stupid. They’re just hungry. And scammers? They’re just cooks with poison in their pockets.
What Can We Do?
We can wake up. Learn to find joy in real connection—even when it’s slow, even when it’s flawed. We can remind ourselves that love doesn’t need to dazzle like a diamond ad to be worth having. And most of all, we can stop making shame the story of those who fall for the scam.
Because it’s not shameful to want love.
It’s human.
And maybe, the real scam is a world that sells romance like a product and then punishes people for trying to buy it.