Between Two Worlds

My Life in the Philippines and the U.S.

Not all departures are escapes. Some are quiet acts of self-trust—a promise to return stronger, softer, and more whole.

Do I Love the Philippines?

That’s a complicated question. Complex. Loaded. It’s hard to put into words what it means to love the place that shaped you… and sometimes scarred you.

So let me answer this in Tagalog.

Mahal ko ang Pilipinas. At mahal ko ang mga Pilipino. Kasi dito ako lumaki—dito ko unang natutong makisama, mangarap, magmahal. Halos kalahati ng buhay ko, dito ko ginugol. Kaya hindi ko pwedeng sabihing iniwan ko lang ‘to na parang wala lang.

Binigyan ako ng lupa ang bansang ‘to. Isang lupang mahirap, mainit, magulo—pero sa kabila ng lahat, dito ako unang tumubo. Dito nagsimula ang lahat.

May mga alaala akong hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan. Mga pagkain—lechon, sinigang, halo-halo. Jollibee. Mga kapitbahay na parang pamilya. Mga kaibigang parang kapatid. Mga ngiti sa mga taong kahit hindi mo kilala, kusa kang binabati.

Pero totoo rin—marami akong hindi gusto. Mainit na parang galit ang araw. Polusyon. Trapik. Kahirapan. Pagod. Korupsyon. Gobyerno na tila laging kulang. Araw-araw ay parang laban. At noong bata pa ako, isa lang ang pangarap ko: makaalis.

When I moved to the U.S., everything shifted.

It was cleaner, calmer, quieter. There was order. Privacy. A sense of space. There were days I could breathe without always being on edge. I built a life there—one with more freedom, more stability, and more opportunities. I found work I loved. I met people who saw me clearly.

But I never stopped coming back.

Sometimes for family, sometimes for food, sometimes for something I can’t quite explain. A pull. A tenderness. A memory wrapped in heat and chaos and color.

So do I love the Philippines?

Yes. Deeply. Fully. In ways I didn’t always admit when I was younger.

And no, I don’t love everything about it. I don’t romanticize the hard parts or pretend my childhood was easy.

But the truth is, it gave me roots. And even if I’ve grown in another direction, those roots still matter.

Some places you outgrow. Others you carry with you. The Philippines is both for me.

And I think that’s okay.

“When I’m homesick for the Philippines, I book a flight. When I’m homesick for the U.S., I book a flight.”

— Vanessa Liu