Art of Flirting

I was a late bloomer when it came to flirting. For years, I didn’t catch on. Missed the signs. Froze in the moment. But somewhere between strangers yelling they want to marry me, guys following me for blocks just to ask for my number, and being hit on while literally already on a date, I figured a few things out.

TAKING THE CHANCE

Without Being a Weirdo

Flirting can be magical, but most of the time, it’s a bit haphazard, cringey, and way too scripted. That’s why I’m writing this—not as an expert, but as a woman who’s flirted terribly, laughed at herself, and learned a lot, both from experience and watching others crash and burn (or win big).

Let’s start here: if you’ve ever said “Are you French? Because Eiffel for you,” I want you to sit quietly and think about your choices. Flirting is not about clever lines. It’s about how you make someone feel. To the guy who said it to me: I’m a brown-eyed, black-haired girl, definitely not French.

Real flirting is the glance that lingers a second longer than it should. The teasing smile. The playful nudge. It’s about showing just enough interest to stir the air between you without sucking all the oxygen out of the room.

Here’s what works:

Start with being a human. Say something real. If it comes out awkward? Even better. Most women can spot a fake from a mile away, but vulnerability? That’s sexy. Humor? Even sexier. You don’t need to impress. You need to connect authentically.

Confidence is attractive—but the kind that doesn’t come with an ego. You don’t need to list your job title, how much you can bench press, or how emotionally available you are. Just relax. Let the moment breathe.

The best flirting feels spontaneous. Don’t overthink it. Tease her a little, play back if she throws something your way. Let her feel the energy shift when you look at her like she’s the only one in the room. That moment? That’s the flirt.

And for the love of all things good, listen. Actually listen. Ask her something interesting. Remember her answer. If she lights up talking about her dog, ask for his name the next time you see her. That small detail will mean way more than a compliment on her outfit.

Pacing matters too. No one likes to be love-bombed in the DMs or stalked via “wyd” texts every hour. Give it space to let tension build. Flirting is the appetizer, not the main course.

Also, know when to bow out. If she’s not giving you much back, don’t chase it. Sometimes the timing’s off, so let things unfold naturally. If she’s into you, she’ll show it. If not, move on. In flirting, patience is part of the game. If all else fails, there are plenty of mermaids in the sea.

The Art of Flirting is all about having the courage to say: I see you, I’m enjoying this, and I’m ready to have some fun. 

Whether that moment leads to something more or just brightens your day, it’s still a win. In the end, it’s about embracing who you are, letting others see the real you, and enjoying the rollercoaster of romance we all secretly sign up for.